Yahweh and Elohim: Yahweh and Forgiveness

This is part 10, and the final part, of a multi-part series.

A good deal of time has passed since I thought I had completed the Yahweh and Elohim series, and I’ve had a lot of time to reflect on what I’ve written. I’ve since come to the conclusion that this series is, in fact, not actually complete. There is one loose end that I’ve been mulling over that needs to be addressed.

One major criticism that I have of this work so far is that I’ve gone out of my way to paint Yahweh as a malicious, malevolent figure. Obviously, Yahweh has some positive, loving aspects as well, and I’ve more or less ignored them here. The only place I try to portray Yahweh in a positive light is in the chapter on Understanding Yahweh’s Behavior. But even there, I am not trying to balance my portrayal of Yahweh by describing some of his kinder, gentler characteristics. Instead, I attempt to see Yahweh’s bad behavior in the best possible light, with the hope of bringing some understanding.

I’m sure some readers share this criticism, and would agree with me that this isn’t entirely fair. This was on my mind when I was writing, and I even had a paragraph of justification for this that didn’t make it into published version:

I can imagine some people arguing that the examples I pick from the Old Testament demonstrating that Yahweh is not a nice guy is cherry picking, and that I am ignoring or overlooking all of the wonderful, benevolent things that Yahweh has done. I’m not trying to deny that Yahweh is sometimes a nice guy. It’s simply not important to the story I am telling. Look, when you have a friend who is stuck in an abusive relationship, and you are trying to help them get themselves out of it, both physically and psychologically, do you focus on the happy times they had? The times that he was nice to her? Of course not! You need to remind her of all the times she was beaten, yelled at, and belittled. The fact that the abuser was, at times, a perfectly sweet, loving, caring person, is not important. In fact, it’s not helpful to bring it up! In fact, she is probably bringing up those memories in defense of him and the relationship, and it is your job to bring her focus back to all the times she was hurt! The fact that Yahweh may have sometimes been kind, benevolent, gracious, or giving, does not in any way excuse his repeated malicious behavior.

My goodness, that is quite a forceful statement there! I certainly felt quite strongly about this. My goal in these essays is clear: to dispel the notion that Yahweh is, or was, a benevolent, loving god. This delusion has served a useful function in the past: namely, to protect our psyches from an overwhelmingly traumatic experience of the past. So that’s okay, and that’s good, but if you’re ready, let’s move on now. These traumas were deep in the past, and maybe we can start to face up to them now. If you’re not ready, that’s okay, but I strongly doubt you would still be reading this unless you weren’t, in part, ready to face it.

Knowing the truth is useful for its own sake, but there is a more important reason to face up to the truth of just who Yahweh was: so we can begin to heal from those traumas. Feeling is the first part of healing. We need to acknowledge and accept what has happened to us, and if that hurts or makes us sad, we stay with those emotions as best we can. We are in a safe place now. It’s okay express these emotions, to observe them, and to flow with them. If we allow ourselves this, then the pain naturally begins to dissipate and release of its own accord.

Once the experience is a little less raw, then we can do things like go back and look at those hurtful behaviors in the best possible light. We can remember the good times – the times when they were loving, and caring, and supportive – without invalidating the painful experiences. In short, we can begin to forgive. Without forgiveness, we will always be stuck in the trauma to some degree or another. With forgiveness, numerous possibilities open up to us. For instance, we could move on in new directions without them. If they display remorse or regret, then maybe we could avail ourselves to a new collaboration with them. One potential interpretation of Yahweh receding into the background, and no longer speaking directly to us, or directly interacting with us, is that he felt remorse for his actions. Maybe he did not want to continue his hurtful ways, but did not trust himself to behave better, and so he chose to withdraw to a greater distance. Perhaps there is room now to reconnect.

I’ve found practicing forgiveness to be extremely beneficial to my emotional well-being. There are many guided meditations you can find on practicing forgiveness if you are interested. My favorite is by Jack Kornfield, from this excellent 2 CD set of guided meditations. His introduction to forgiveness meditation provides words of deep, gentle wisdom:

Forgiveness is one of the greatest gifts of spiritual life. Forgiveness enables us to be released from the sorrows of the past. Although it can arise spontaneously, it can also be cultivated in meditation. It enables us to be released from the sorrows of the past. I’ve seen mothers forgiving the killers of their own children. Hatred never ceases by hatred, but by love alone is healed. This is the ancient and eternal law. Forgiveness frees us from the past. Although it can arise spontaneously, it can also be cultivated. There’s an ancient and systematic practice from the Buddhist monasteries that teaches the heart of forgiveness. Through the spirit of forgiveness we can transform our life.

Before you can do this forgiveness meditation, you must be clear about what forgiveness means. Forgiveness does not in any way justify or condone harmful actions. While you forgive you may also say, “Never again will I allow this to happen.” You can do whatever is necessary to prevent further harm. Forgiveness does not mean you have to seek out or speak to those who’ve caused you harm. You may choose never to see them again. Forgiveness is simply an act of the heart; a movement to let go of the pain, the resentment, the outrage and burden we’ve carried so long. It’s an easing of your heart, and an acknowledgement that no matter how strongly you may condemn the suffering of another, you will not put another being out of your heart.

We have all been harmed, or betrayed, just as at other times, we have betrayed others or ourselves. “If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each person’s life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility,” says Longfellow.

For most people, forgiveness is a process. When you’ve been deeply wounded, the work of forgiveness can take years. It goes through stages: grief and rage, sorrow, fear, and confusion. And in the end, as you let yourself feel the pain you carry, forgiveness comes as a relief: A release of the heart. You see that forgiveness is fundamentally for your own sake: A way to no longer carry the pain of the past. It is like the two ex-prisoners of war, one who says to the other, “Have you forgiven your captors yet?” The second replies, “No, never!” And the first says, “Well then, they still have you in prison, don’t they?”

To release the sorrows of the past allows our heart to move on in this world in a free, unburdened, and gracious way. Fundamentally, the act of forgiveness is for yourself. It may be for the harm you’ve done to yourself or another. Or it may be for the pain that you’ve carried too long. It is an act of courage. “If you want to see the brave,” says the Bhagavad Gita, “look for those who can forgive.”

I’ve listened to these words so many times, spoken in Kornfield’s gentle, soothing voice. Until recently, the idea of forgiving a god never occurred to me! It simply does not fit into a worldview where our God is all-loving and all-benevolent. But as we have seen, the gods that humans have known are not this way. Yahweh is our prime example, and quite a relevant one for those of us raised in any of the Abrahamic traditions. Once we let go of this misconception, we can begin to see these gods as they truly are: creatures with foibles, callousness, bad intentions, and even some silly ideas about how the world works. And once this truth settles in, we can see how much they are like us. They are imperfect. Perhaps they are trying their best, and perhaps they are justifying their bad behaviors to themselves with some kind of rationalization, just as we sometimes do. When we are comfortable in this new perspective, we can see that they are, just as as our fellow human beings, prime candidates for practice of forgiveness.